Hannah Rising

Dealing with your Church Hurt

“God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun!” -1 Samuel 2

Tears can’t be trusted, even Crocodiles cry, but when tears and vows combine, new life is breaking in like the dawn.

Like the priest Eli who watched Hannah weeping in the sanctuary, I too have seen many men and women weep before the presence of the Lord. It’s hard to discern the true movements of the Spirit of God in emotional moments.

“As she was praying to the Lord, Eli watched her. Seeing her lips moving but hearing no sound, he thought she had been drinking. “Must you come here drunk?” he demanded. “Throw away your wine!” -‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭12‬-‭14‬ ‭

Like Eli, I have mistakenly judged the story unfolding before me. Sometimes I’ve rejoiced when I should of grieved, other times I’ve mourned when I should of blessed. Sometimes I have hurt instead of helped what God was doing.

Many people have been wounded by priests who are “old, overweight and blind”, bodily conditions that speak of far deeper spiritual maladies

“What is all the noise about?” Eli asked. The messenger rushed over to Eli, who was ninety-eight years old and blind. When the messenger mentioned what had happened to the Ark of God, Eli fell backward from his seat beside the gate. He broke his neck and died, for he was old and overweight. He had been Israel’s judge for forty years.” -1 Samuel‬ ‭4‬:‭14‬-‭15‬, ‭18‬ ‭

Too many people have suffered “church hurt” by the words and actions of a pastor or priest. I too know this failure as a pastor, caring for souls is a precarious and powerful practice that will be judged more strictly by Jesus (James 3:11). We often stumble and fail others.

“Hannah was in deep anguish, crying bitterly as she prayed to the Lord. “Oh no, sir!” she replied. “I haven’t been drinking wine or anything stronger. But I am very discouraged, and I was pouring out my heart to the Lord. Don’t think I am a wicked woman! For I have been praying out of great anguish and sorrow.” -1 Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭10‬, ‭15‬-‭16‬ ‭

God give us more Hannahs who know how to “pour out their hearts before the Lord” and speak the truth to anyone who judges them.

Too many people have allowed the judgements of parents, partners, pastors and priests incorrectly describe and define them. Hannah stood up for herself and dared to contradict the priestly misunderstanding of the moment, turning the shame and blame to blessing.

“In that case,” Eli said, “go in peace! May the God of Israel grant the request you have asked of him.” -1 Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭17‬ ‭

“Oh, thank you, sir!” she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad. The entire family got up early the next morning and went to worship the Lord once more. Then they returned home to Ramah. When Elkanah slept with Hannah, the Lord remembered her plea, and in due time she gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, for she said, “I asked the Lord for him.” -1 Samuel‬ ‭1‬:‭18‬-‭20‬ ‭

There’s an answered prayer waiting to happen for you and in many cases it’s locked up in the person and place of some of your deepest pain and wounding. You can turn pastoral pain to priestly blessing through prayer, confession and courage. The grace of God unfolding in your life will not only impact you but influence those around you. God is at work in the sanctuary, in the puddles of tears on the floor, in the difficult misunderstandings and bold corrections that love and truth demand.

Maybe this Sunday is your day to go back to church, try again, find your voice, pour out your heart before the Lord and set in motion a new season of blessing and healing. You soul needs it, Samuels need it and Elis need it too.

Let the spirit of Hannah rise, casting off the barrenness of years of bitterness and sorrow. Find your voice again and may healing come to all the hurt experienced from the mouths and hands of helpers.