Bury the Bones

Moving through Grief & Mourning

I delivered a message on the way through grief and mourning last night to the men at Adult and Teen Challenge.

The loss of friends in the battle with addiction is a complex mental, emotional and spiritual battle especially in recovery.

Hope is a fragile commodity living a few choices from the grave.

I taught from one of the most tragic stories in the Bible. Leaning into the realities of the hot battle we are in, the devastating losses we experience and the way “valiant men” respond to the hells and horrors of the fight.

Taught the men on the place for finding voice to feelings like David did with prayer, singing, writing, poetry and purposeful action in response.

How to find your place in grief and mourning but also how to pass through it. How to honor the life by facing their death in a manner that is true to how much they mattered to you.

How to find a fire in your belly from the light of their lives and allow God the space to stoke it into greater flame.

How Valiant men don’t give up or give in but craft a plan in the darkness nights.

‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭31‬:‭1‬-‭13‬ ‭“Now the Philistines fought against Israel; the Israelites fled before them, and many fell dead on Mount Gilboa. The Philistines were in hot pursuit of Saul and his sons, and they killed his sons Jonathan, Abinadab and Malki-Shua. The fighting grew fierce around Saul, and when the archers overtook him, they wounded him critically.

Saul said to his armor-bearer, “Draw your sword and run me through, or these uncircumcised fellows will come and run me through and abuse me.” But his armor-bearer was terrified and would not do it; so Saul took his own sword and fell on it. When the armor-bearer saw that Saul was dead, he too fell on his sword and died with him. So Saul and his three sons and his armor-bearer and all his men died together that same day.

When the Israelites along the valley and those across the Jordan saw that the Israelite army had fled and that Saul and his sons had died, they abandoned their towns and fled. And the Philistines came and occupied them. The next day, when the Philistines came to strip the dead, they found Saul and his three sons fallen on Mount Gilboa. They cut off his head and stripped off his armor, and they sent messengers throughout the land of the Philistines to proclaim the news in the temple of their idols and among their people. They put his armor in the temple of the Ashtoreths and fastened his body to the wall of Beth Shan.

When the people of Jabesh Gilead heard what the Philistines had done to Saul, all their valiant men marched through the night to Beth Shan. They took down the bodies of Saul and his sons from the wall of Beth Shan and went to Jabesh, where they burned them. Then they took their bones and buried them under a tamarisk tree at Jabesh, and they fasted seven days.”

David words in 2 Samuel 1:26-27

“I grieve for you...my brother.

You were such a friend to me.

Your love for me was more wonderful than the love of women.

How the mighty have fallen

and the weapons of war have perished!”

Ancient Wisdom for grieving:

Sirach 38:16–23 “My son, shed tears for the dead; raise a lament for your grievous loss. Shroud his body with proper ceremony, and do not neglect his burial. With bitter weeping and passionate lament make your mourning worthy of him. Mourn for a few days as propriety demands, and then take comfort for your grief. For grief may lead to death, and a sorrowful heart saps the strength. When a man is taken away, suffering is over, but to live on in poverty goes against the grain. Do not abandon yourself to grief; put it from you and think of your own end. Never forget! there is no return; you cannot help him and can only injure yourself. Remember that his fate will also be yours: ‘Mine today and yours tomorrow.’ When the dead is at rest, let his memory rest too; take comfort as soon as he has breathed his last.”

Action and promise:

Jude‬ ‭1‬:‭20‬-‭21‬, ‭23‬-‭25‬ ‭ “But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life. save others by snatching them from the fire; to others show mercy, mixed with fear—hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh. To him who is able to keep you from stumbling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.”