Lost another dear Saint this week and I have been pulling on all kinds of threads of art to process it all. Remember seems like a good word in response to it all.

Ecclesiastes 12:1-7 
“Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.” 

Remember him before the light of the sun, moon, and stars is dim to your old eyes, and rain clouds continually darken your sky. 

Remember him before your legs—the guards of your house—start to tremble; and before your shoulders—the strong men—stoop. 

Remember him before your teeth—your few remaining servants—stop grinding; and before your eyes—the women looking through the windows—see dimly. 

Remember him before the door to life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint. 

Remember him before you become fearful of falling and worry about danger in the streets; before your hair turns white like an almond tree in bloom, and you drag along without energy like a dying grasshopper, and the caperberry no longer inspires sexual desire. 

Remember him before you near the grave, your everlasting home, when the mourners will weep at your funeral. 

Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.”

My poem: Remember written 5/11/17

Remember...
because you're forgetting,
Hello no longer means what it did,
goodbye, means more than we dare think upon too long. 

Remember...
yes remember,
because tomorrow doesn't mean anything anymore. 

Remember...
it's a roll of the dice,
but when it lands on lucky 7,
the sliver of a smile comes tumbling out of the void. 

Remember...
because soon you will not,
a small grace it is, 
to lessen the pain of being forgotten. 

Remember...
I do, for now,
but soon,
I won't either. 

Art: selection from Gustav Klimt’s: Medicine

Most people are not familiar with the anti-war activism that is part of Mother’s Day history. The sentimental angle and the commercialism of Mother’s Day with its projected $38 million dollars spent this year is an outgrowth of a genuine historical purpose to honor mothers, but there’s more to it that’s worth knowing.

Historian Heather Cox Richardson: “If you google the history of Mother’s Day, the internet will tell you that Mother’s Day began in 1908 when Anna Jarvis decided to honor her mother. But “Mothers’ Day”-with the apostrophe not in the singular spot, but in the plural-actually started in the 1870s, when the sheer enormity of the death caused by the Civil War and the Franco-Prussian War convinced American women that women must take control of politics from the men who had permitted such carnage. Mothers’ Day was not designed to encourage people to be nice to their mothers. It was part of women’s effort to gain power to change modern society.”

Julia Ward Howe, Mother’s Day Proclamation, 1870 “Arise, all women who have hearts, whether your baptism be that of water or of tears! Say firmly: ‘We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies, our husbands shall not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.

Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy and patience. We women of one country will be too tender of those of another country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.

From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own. It says, “‘Disarm, disarm! The sword is not the balance of justice.’ Blood does not wipe out dishonor nor violence indicate possession.

As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead. Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each learning after his own time, the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a general congress of women without limit of nationality may be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at the earliest period consistent with its objects to promote the alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement of international questions, the great and general interests of peace.”

(An illustration from Le Pater by Alphonse Mucha, 1860-1939)

Martin Luther said: “The Christian goes through three conversions: the heart, the mind, and the purse.”

This is content from a sermon series I did as we taught through Proverbs. Money is a touchy area for most people, and many haven’t been taught much from the Bible on the subject except the topic of tithes and offerings. Discussing it in Church can often feel manipulative and self-serving for many Pastors but we need to teach what the whole Bible says about money if we want people to honor the Lord with wealth.

Many people have questions like these:

-Why can’t God pay His own bills?

-Does God need my money?

-Why do churches ask for money?

-Does God care how much I give?

-After Government taxes, that average 24%, how can I tack on a 10-24% religious tithe?

-Why should I give to a church if God destroyed the Temple, and Priesthood and Christians are not subject to the civil or ceremonial law of the Old Testament?

-If the laws of the Sabbath, Foods & Sacrifices are no longer required for Christians, why should anyone feel responsible to place themselves under the economic system of Israel?

-Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for devouring widows houses but praised the widow who gave her last pennies to them? Doesn’t that seem oppressive?

-What if I don’t agree with the way churches spend the money we give?

-Is it ok for me to designate or determine where I put a tithe?

-Is it my money or God’s if I go to work everyday?

-Is it right for churches to give our hard earned money to people not working or living self-sabotaging lives?

-Why should I give money to Christians who move to other places and live?

It seems like I’m subsidizing them to live free from the hardships of daily work life, how is this fair? Does an address change really make anyone a “missionary”?

-Shouldn’t church leaders be poor like Jesus?

-What if my pastor drives a nicer car than me?

-Do I have to give to a church if I attend it?

When someone asks, “Do you expect 10%?”—especially a young couple trying to make ends meet—that’s a real and important question.

My answer is: Scripture calls us to generosity shaped by worship, not mere calculation.

1. The Starting Point: Honor God First

The Bible consistently frames giving as worship and trust, not obligation:

“Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the firstfruits…” (Proverbs 3:9–10)

“Each of you must give as he is able, according to the blessing…” (Deuteronomy 16:17)

“Give generously… without a grudging heart.” (Deuteronomy 15:10)

The principle is clear:

Give first, give proportionally, and give with the right heart.

2. The Role of the Tithe (10%)

In the Old Testament, God’s people were instructed to give a tenth:

“Set aside a tenth…” (Deuteronomy 14:22)

And not leftovers, but the best:

“I will accept no offering…” when it dishonors God (Malachi 1:10–14)

This giving supported:

Worship and ministry (Numbers 18:21)

Community celebration (Deuteronomy 14:22–27)

Care for the vulnerable (Deuteronomy 14:28–29)

So the tithe was not just a number—it was part of a life ordered around God.

3. The New Testament Teaching

The New Testament doesn’t emphasize a fixed percentage—it presses into the heart and posture of giving:

Willing and cheerful

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Proportional and intentional

“On the first day of every week, each of you is to put something aside… as he may prosper.” (1 Corinthians 16:2)

Sacrificial, not just convenient

“They gave according to their means… and beyond their means… of their own accord.” (2 Corinthians 8:3)

A matter of the heart, not neglecting justice

“You give a tenth… but neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done…” (Luke 11:42)

Marked by trust in God’s provision

“Give, and it will be given to you… For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38)

Seen in sacrificial devotion

The widow “put in all she had to live on.” (Mark 12:43–44)

Eternal perspective

“Store up for yourselves treasures in heaven…” (Matthew 6:19–21)

The shift is this:

Not less than the tithe—but deeper than the tithe.

4. What I’d Say to a Young Couple

If a couple says, “10% feels like too much right now,” I would not respond with pressure.

Start with faithfulness, not fear.

Begin somewhere intentional—not nothing

Make it first, not leftover (Proverbs 3:9)

Let it be proportional (1 Corinthians 16:2; Deuteronomy 16:17)

Let it be joyful, not forced (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Grow over time

And remember:

“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer…” (Proverbs 11:24)

“Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord.” (Proverbs 19:17)

5. The Heart Behind It All

God is not after reluctant obligation:

“You say, ‘What a burden!’” (Malachi 1:13)

He desires willing, joyful generosity shaped by trust:

“They gave themselves first to the Lord…” (2 Corinthians 8:5)

“The righteous give without sparing.” (Proverbs 21:26)

Giving isn’t about hitting a number.

It’s about honoring God, trusting Him, and becoming a generous person.

My goal as a pastor isn’t to enforce 10%.

It’s to help people learn to put God first, give with joy, and grow in generosity over time.

In the early third century, two young women—Perpetua and Felicity—stood at the center of one of the most powerful testimonies in Christian history. Their story is not just about suffering. It is about identity, courage, and the unshakable conviction that following Jesus is worth everything.

What makes their account unique is that we hear it, in part, in Perpetua’s own voice. Her diary—written in the final days before her execution—offers one of the earliest and most personal records we have from a Christian woman. It is raw, vivid, and deeply human. And it forces us to wrestle with a question we often avoid:

What does it really cost to follow Jesus?

A Faith That Could Not Be Renounced

Around the year 203, five Christians in Carthage were arrested while preparing for baptism. Among them were Perpetua, a 22-year-old mother from a noble family, and Felicity, a pregnant enslaved woman.

They were pressured to renounce their faith and offer sacrifice to the Roman gods. Even Perpetua’s father pleaded with her—begging her to save her life for the sake of her child.

She refused.

Her reasoning was simple but profound: just as a vase cannot be called anything other than what it is, she could not call herself anything but a Christian. To deny Christ would not just be a change of belief—it would be a denial of her very identity.

For Perpetua, faith was not an accessory. It was her whole self.

The Upside-Down Victory of the Cross

To the Roman world, their deaths looked senseless. Why would ordinary people—young mothers, even—embrace execution?

But the early church saw something deeper.

Jesus had already redefined victory. The cross, which looked like defeat, was in fact triumph. And so the martyrs understood their suffering not as loss, but as participation in Christ’s victory.

They believed:

• To lose your life for Christ is to gain it.

• To suffer for Him is to share in His glory.

• To die in faith is not defeat—it is witness.

The very word martyr means witness.

A Battle Beyond What We See

Perpetua’s diary reveals how early Christians interpreted their suffering—not merely as physical pain, but as spiritual conflict.

On the night before her death, she had a vision. She fought a great adversary, overcame him, and stepped on his head. When she awoke, she understood: her true battle was not against beasts in the arena, but against the devil.

This was their framework:

• The arena was not just a stage—it was a battlefield.

• The spectators were not only human—heaven and hell were watching.

• The struggle was not merely physical—it was spiritual.

They were not victims of Rome. They were participants in a cosmic victory.

The Testimony of Women

The story of Perpetua and Felicity stands out because it centers the voices of women—not as background figures, but as protagonists of faith.

A noblewoman and an enslaved woman. Different social status. Same courage. Same faith. Same end. Both were mothers. Both suffered deeply. Both stood firm.

Their story was read publicly in the early church, treasured, and passed down through generations. Churches across the world still remember them.

Their witness declares something that cannot be ignored:

Faithfulness is not limited by gender, status, or circumstance.

The Cost of Love: Mothers and Daughters

Their story is not heroic in a distant, abstract way. It is painfully personal.

Felicity gave birth in prison just days before her execution. Roman law forbade killing a pregnant woman, so she prayed to deliver early—so she could die alongside her fellow believers. Her prayer was answered.

During labor, a guard mocked her:
“If you suffer like this now, what will you do when you face the beasts?”

She replied:
“Now I suffer what I suffer. But then there will be another in me who will suffer for me—because I am about to suffer for Him.”

Perpetua, meanwhile, wrestled with being separated from her nursing child. Her father even withheld the baby, hoping to break her resolve. The emotional weight is almost unbearable: a daughter watching her father collapse in grief, pleading for her to choose life.

She did not waver.

This is not a story of cold detachment. It is a story of costly love—love for Christ that did not erase human bonds, but outweighed them.

Strength in the Arena

When the day came, they were led into the arena.

They were humiliated, beaten, and exposed before the crowd. A wild cow was set upon them—chosen specifically to mock them as women.

Perpetua was thrown violently to the ground. And then something remarkable happened.

She stood up. Not in panic—but in composure.

She adjusted her torn garment to preserve her dignity.
She fixed her hair, because it was not fitting to face death in disorder.
She walked over to Felicity, lifted her up, and stood beside her.

Even in the face of death, she chose dignity, strength, and presence.

This was not resignation, this was defiance rooted in hope.

Not Victims, But Witnesses

At the end, when a young gladiator hesitated to strike, Perpetua guided his hand to her throat.

The early Christians recorded this with awe: she was not overpowered—she gave her life. To them, this meant something profound:

The enemy did not take her life. She offered it.

In Christ, even death had lost its power to dominate.

What This Means for Us

It is easy to distance ourselves from stories like this. We live in a different world. Few of us will face literal arenas but the call of the gospel has not changed.

Jesus said:

• “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness.”

• “If they persecuted me, they will persecute you.”

• “Whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”

And Paul reminds us: “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

The early church took these words seriously—because they had to.

A Different Way to See Suffering

One of the most striking aspects of early Christian teaching is how they reframed suffering.

Not as meaningless pain, but as preparation.
Not as defeat, but as participation in Christ’s victory.

They trained their minds to see:

• Trials as training

• Opposition as confirmation

• Suffering as a pathway to glory

This doesn’t minimize pain—it gives it meaning.

The Role of the Holy Spirit

Perpetua’s account also highlights something often overlooked: the active presence of the Holy Spirit. Dreams, visions, encouragement through others—these were not rare anomalies. They were expected.

Early Christians believed:

• God was present in their suffering

• The Spirit empowered endurance

• Prophetic encouragement did not cease—it continued

They did not expect God to fade into silence.
They expected Him to meet them in the fire.

Surrounded by Witnesses

Centuries later, their story still speaks. Their lives echo the words of Hebrews:

“Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses… let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”

We may not be called to die as they did, but we are called to live with the same faith.

How Do We Respond?

Their story presses a few questions into our lives:

1. Your story matters.
Faithfulness in your life—however ordinary it seems—is part of a larger testimony.

2. Your witness matters.
How you stand in pressure, hardship, or opposition speaks louder than words.

3. Your struggles matter.
Do you see them as random burdens—or as battles where God is present?

4. Your community matters.
Who is standing with you in your “arena”? Who helps you get back up?

5. Your perspective matters.
Do you see yourself as defeated—or as one who overcomes through Christ?

The Enduring Call

Perpetua and Felicity tower over us in courage. Few will imitate their actions, but we can imitate their devotion.

If not in suffering, then in faith.
If not in martyrdom, then in love.
If not in their circumstances, then in their perspective.

They remind us that the Christian life is not about comfort—it is about Christ.

And in Him, even what looks like loss becomes victory.

“The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.”

Their story is still bearing fruit. The question is—what will ours say?

Most people skim past genealogies in the Bible.

“The son of… the son of… the son of…”

It feels like filler—names we don’t recognize, details we don’t need. But in Matthew 1, something unexpected happens. Buried in the genealogy of Jesus are names that shouldn’t be there.

Not just any names—women.

And not just women—women with complicated, painful, even scandalous stories.

If you slow down long enough to notice them, you’ll realize: this isn’t accidental. It’s the gospel, right from the beginning.

A Gospel Written from the Margins

The Gospel of Matthew is written by a man who understood what it meant to live on the outside. Matthew was a tax collector—someone viewed as a traitor, a cheat, a collaborator with Rome. He knew what it felt like to be judged, whispered about, and excluded.

And yet, he is chosen to write one of the accounts of Jesus’ life.

That alone should get our attention.

Because when Matthew begins telling the story of Jesus, he doesn’t sanitize it. He doesn’t build a polished family tree filled only with heroes. Instead, he highlights stories that many would rather forget.

The Women No One Expected

In a culture where genealogies were strictly male, Matthew intentionally includes four women before Mary:

• Tamar

• Rahab

• Ruth

• “Uriah’s wife” (Bathsheba)

Not Sarah. Not Rebekah. Not Leah.

He skips the celebrated matriarchs and chooses women whose stories are marked by hardship, vulnerability, and controversy.

Why? Because God is telling a different kind of story.

Tamar: Fighting for Justice in a Broken System

Tamar’s story (Genesis 38) is uncomfortable.

Widowed and abandoned within a system that was supposed to protect her, she takes drastic action to secure her future. She disguises herself, exposes injustice, and forces the truth into the light.

It’s messy. It’s painful.

But beneath it is something deeper: a woman refusing to disappear.

God does not erase her story—He weaves it into the lineage of Jesus.

Rahab: A Life Rewritten by Faith

Rahab was a prostitute in Jericho.

When she heard about the God of Israel, she believed—and acted on that belief. She protected the spies and tied a scarlet cord in her window, trusting that salvation would come. And it did.

She wasn’t just spared—she was brought in. Fully.

Rahab becomes part of Israel… and part of Jesus’ family line.

Ruth: Faithfulness on the Edge of Survival

Ruth was a Moabite—a foreigner from a people historically excluded.

She lived on the margins, scraping by, caring for her mother-in-law, trying to survive in a world with no safety net. Her story includes desperation, risk, and quiet courage. And in that place—on the edges of society—God meets her.

Not only does she find provision, but she becomes the great-grandmother of King David.

Bathsheba: A Story God Refuses to Hide

Matthew doesn’t even name her. He calls her “the wife of Uriah.” That’s intentional.

Because her story involves abuse of power, betrayal, and loss. King David takes her, her husband is killed, and the consequences ripple through generations.

And yet—God does not let her story be buried.

He remembers Uriah. He honors what was done. He refuses to rewrite history in favor of power.

Even here, in the genealogy of Jesus, God tells the truth.

And Then… Mary

After all these stories, Matthew brings us to Mary.

A young woman, found to be pregnant before marriage.

Do you see what Matthew has done?

He has already prepared us.

By the time we reach Mary, we understand something:

God is not afraid of complicated stories.

What This Means for Us

This genealogy confronts a deep assumption many of us carry:

“Maybe God can work through others—but not someone like me.”

But Matthew dismantles that idea before the story of Jesus even begins.

These women represent:

• Survival in broken systems

• Moral complexity

• Victimization and resilience

• Poverty and desperation

• Social rejection

And yet, God says:

“This is where My story begins.”

Grace Is Not an Excuse—It’s an Invitation

There’s something else we can’t ignore. God includes these stories—but He doesn’t call brokenness good. Sin still matters. Justice still matters. Repentance still matters. Real grace doesn’t say, “It’s fine.”

Real grace says:

• Come into the light

• Tell the truth

• Make what you can right

• Receive what you cannot earn

Forgiveness is free—but transformation is real.

The Scandal of the Gospel

The apostle Paul writes:

“God chose what the world considers foolish… weak… and nothing at all… to shame what is strong.”

That’s not poetic language.

That’s a description of the people in Jesus’ family tree.

And if we’re honest—it’s a description of us.

So Where Do You Stand?

If you are in Christ, Scripture says something almost too good to believe:

• You are made right with God

• You are pure

• You are holy

• You are free from sin

Not because of your past.

But because of Jesus.

The Beginning of Good News

Matthew starts his Gospel this way for a reason.

Before miracles.

Before teachings.

Before the cross.

He shows us this: God builds His story through people the world would never choose.

So bring your story.

The shame.
The failure.
The parts you’d rather hide.

Because the message of Jesus is this:

He will save His people from their sins.

And somehow—mysteriously, beautifully—

He will even use your story as part of His.

“Therefore, behold, I will bring evil upon the house of Jeroboam, and will cut off from Jeroboam him that pisseth against the wall, and him that is shut up and left in Israel, and will take away the remnant of the house of Jeroboam, as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.” - 1 Kings 14:10

I remember one beautiful night when I was in Lyon, France and had just finished one of the most delicious French cuisine dinners I have ever had. Candle lit table, great food, wine and conversation with friends at an open air restaurant on a cobblestone street.

Afterwards we left on foot and were walking quietly along the narrow street lined with small cars and came upon a woman finishing up peeing between two parked cars. She was dressed in nice, evening clothes and wasn’t startled, embarrassed or awkward at all. I was a bit uncomfortable with the intrusion and also confused by seeing such a woman in such a state. She finished up, adjusted her clothes and walked off in her high-heeled elegance.

I remembered my brother earlier that day telling me to not spit on the street because it was considered rude. He was explaining this as I was stepping over dog dung left by someone’s pet poodle. That night, I asked him about the peeing in the street moment and he explained it was normal, even for women. I found the whole thing odd and was even more confused with the cultural norms I was navigating.

Seeing people peeing in public is something that is fairly common in my urban pastoral life. Actually it’s the least of the oddities I have had to navigate, disposing of condoms and needles is my least favorite job duties. Trying to convince a prostitute to stop doing business in the apartment laundry room behind the church was a difficult one too. She had moved a mattress and a bookcase into the small two machine room.

But this Sunday was a particularly odd moment.

I arrived and one of my female congregants was peeing behind one of the cars in the parking lot.

When I left after service another congregant, a man, was ‘pissing against the wall’ in the parking lot across the street.

Both times I pretended to not see them in the act and tried to offer them some dignity in an undignified moment. When you pastor with a special intention to be in and reach out to the margins of our society awkward moments are regular.

“Please shut and lock the bathroom door, when you use the restroom” is a phrase that is regularly said at our church. It tells you about some of the challenges we have to figure out as a church community gleaning on the edges (Leviticus 19:9-10).

I don’t remember getting any ministry training on so many of the dynamics I find myself in these days. Here’s one principle I teach that I have learned in my “urban seminary”: Just clean up the messes.

“…as a man taketh away dung, till it be all gone.”

“Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the Ox.” -Proverbs 14:4

I will have to have a conversation with they who “pisseth against the wall” for the sake of our neighbors and helping my parishioners avoid more problems then they need, but on an other level, sometimes it’s just working in the fields.

I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to bring this section of a prayer attributed to St. Patrick with me to pray from someone who was struggling with spiritual oppression where they were staying.

When I arrived, I was told that they had a strange choking-breathing-swallowing situation earlier and had recovered, but was obviously unnerved with the alarming moment.

I didn’t connect that moment to the line in this prayer until I was praying it. What seemed particularly sovereign was that the line of the translation I used isn’t translated this way in many other versions. It seemed like a Spirit led choice for the exact moment I came to pray for this individual, on spiritual and physical levels.

Selection from the Lorica of St. Patrick:

Against all Satan’s spells and wiles,

Against false words of heresy,

Against the knowledge that defiles,

Against the heart’s idolatry,

Against the wizard’s evil craft,

Against the death wound and the burning,

The choking wave and the poisoned shaft,

Protect me, Christ, till Thy returning.

Christ be with me, Christ within me,

Christ behind me, Christ before me,

Christ beside me, Christ to win me,

Christ to comfort and restore me.

Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,

Christ in hearts of all that love me,

Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I bind unto myself the Name,

The strong Name of the Trinity;

By invocation of the same.

The Three in One, and One in Three,

Of Whom all nature hath creation,

Eternal Father, Spirit, Word:

Praise to the Lord of my salvation,

Salvation is of Christ the Lord.

Amen.

(The picture is of St. Anthony of the desert, not St. Patrick but it fit well.)

“First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.” -Proverbs‬ ‭16‬:‭18‬ ‭

President Trump’s ego continues to rise to unparalleled and dangerous heights. The Bible has dire warnings for such trajectories, King Nebuchadnezzar is probably the best example.

Can someone please let a Daniel into the Oval Office who can shame and cast out that false teacher Paula White (Lady Wormtounge) that has been whispering into The President’s ear?

She’s in a long list of false prophets like Hananiah son of Azzur, Ahab son of Kolaiah, Zedekiah son of Maaseiah or Shemaiah the Nehelami who only pampered and prophesied good, pleasant and prosperous things, but never spoke the truth, rebuked sin, error, injustice or foolishness.

Jeremiah 23:16 — “Do not listen to what the prophets are prophesying to you; they fill you with false hopes. They speak visions from their own minds, not from the mouth of the Lord.”

Ezekiel 13:3 — “Woe to the foolish prophets who follow their own spirit and have seen nothing!”

Micah 3:5 — “This is what the Lord says concerning the prophets who lead my people astray: They proclaim ‘peace’ if they have something to eat, but declare war against those who put nothing in their mouths.”

Where’s the prophets in politics that can speak like Daniel?

‭‭Daniel‬ ‭4‬:‭27‬ ‭ “King Nebuchadnezzar, please accept my advice. Stop sinning and do what is right. Break from your wicked past and be merciful to the poor. Perhaps then you will continue to prosper.”

Daniel‬ ‭4‬:‭29‬-‭33‬ ‭ “Twelve months later Nebuchadnezzar was taking a walk on the flat roof of the royal palace in Babylon. As he looked out across the city, he said, ‘Look at this great city of Babylon! By my own mighty power, I have built this beautiful city as my royal residence to display my majestic splendor. While these words were still in his mouth, a voice called down from heaven, ‘O King Nebuchadnezzar, this message is for you! You are no longer ruler of this kingdom. You will be driven from human society. You will live in the fields with the wild animals, and you will eat grass like a cow. Seven periods of time will pass while you live this way, until you learn that the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives them to anyone he chooses. That same hour the judgment was fulfilled, and Nebuchadnezzar was driven from human society. He ate grass like a cow, and he was drenched with the dew of heaven. He lived this way until his hair was as long as eagles’ feathers and his nails were like birds’ claws.”

President Trump’s list of egregious words and actions keeps piling up and his latest ones: “I’m a Doctor” healing the people🙄 and his comments about the Pope: “He wasn’t on any list to be Pope… If I wasn’t in the White House, Leo wouldn’t be in the Vatican.” is yet another unhelpful line of rhetoric that’s undermining or offending parts of his base.

Calling on leaders to humble themselves and admit mistakes or act to bring people together no matter what side of the political aisle someone is on is important in every Presidential cycle.

Some people avoid saying anything negative about their preferred political representatives and others can never say anything positive about anyone on the other political side.

Silent and selective tongues or endless cursing are both unhelpful, unhealthy and exhausting.

Proverbs 11:1 — “A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight.”

Prayer and prophecy: private and public…is the biblical way.

“Our definition of art is the breaking open of the breastbone, for sure. Just open-heart surgery. I wish there was an easier way. But in the end, people want blood, and I am one of them.” -Bono, U2

Bards drag out the heart kicking and screaming and compel her to wail, to weep and to prophesy, to slit her throat on the knife of brutal truthfulness. Honesty strangles herself with her own hands, it’s a Greek tragedy for sure; but a necessary death that testifies that there are still those who know how to really live.

Homer: “We drove past swiftly, but when we were within hail of the shore, the Sirens could not fail to see our speeding vessel, and began their clear singing:

‘Famous Odysseus, great glory of Achaea, draw near, and bring your ship to rest, and listen to our voices. No man rows past this isle in his dark ship without hearing the honeysweet sound from our lips. He delights in it and goes his way a wiser man.

We know all the suffering the Argives and the Trojans endured, by the gods’ will, on the wide plains of Troy. We know everything that comes to pass on the fertile Earth.’

This was the haunting song the Sirens sang, and I longed to listen, commanding my crew by my expression to set me free.

But they bent to their oars and rowed harder, while Perimedes and Eurylochus rose and tightened my bonds and added more rope. Not till they had rowed beyond the Sirens, so we no longer heard their voices and song, did my loyal friends clear the wax that plugged their ears, and untie me.” -The Odyssey, Book 12 (translated by A.S. Kline).

The truly human life, which is a truly spiritual life, is a vulnerable, dangerous and shattered life.

Prophets and poets dare to speak out-loud to those who often would rather live in silence…the silence of feeling, of heart and mind.

Music should be an oracle of reality that forces people to respond to truth, the truth of how we really feel, think or live.

Unfortunately people, especially religious folk, often have only stones for prophets because they force us out of the shadows that we live in.

Deep down I think we’re all vampires in need of the blood of meaning, passion, truth and purpose. For many people music is the tender neck, full of life which we sink our incisors into and desperately try to draw out the life force found in its notes, melodies and chords.

We are brought more fully to life by music, it’s the gift of audible resurrection.

The bards of our time are the oracles of our modern Delphi. We are drawn to the power of human experiences woven together in song, presented to us on instruments, played with skill meant to speak to our inner lives with animating voice.

“God gave us preachers to remind us that we will not live forever. God gave us poets to remind us that we’re not dead yet.” -G.K. Chesterton.

“…the Sirens sang, and I longed to listen.”

“…commanding my crew by my expression to set me free.”

Indeed Odysseus…indeed.

(Song: explicit lyrics/addiction/depression)

I pastor a Bible teaching Church that seeks to equip people to be loving, free, mature, Christ honoring, mission-minded, culturally equipped disciples who serve one another and our community, especially those at the margins.

In our call to serve, we have a primary focus at this season to be on the frontlines of the battle with addiction and its many corrosive and catastrophic consequences.

I pastor people, some are addicts, most are not. We are not a ‘sober’ church in the sense that we seek to be a recovery-centered, addiction-focused church, we are a Jesus following Church.

In that effort we do our best to teach people to follow Jesus, be led by the Spirit and the Word, live in grace-based, loving obedience and practice sacrificial service with a wise as serpents but gentle as doves ethos.

We believe that being a ‘stumbling block’ or ‘unwise’ is to be fundamentally out of alignment with the person, teaching and ministry example of Jesus as revealed and taught in the Bible. He is our way, truth and life. Having a Christ-centered vision and lens as disciples helps us navigate the challenging issues of our day which are always shifting, emerging and deconstructing.

The only true stability is having a life built on the foundation of Jesus, not religion, moralism, philosophy, materialism, politics, cultural, racial or sexual identities or legalism.

In light of this, we aim to equip people and model lives that major on the primaries of the faith and not on the secondaries and thirds. Keep the main thing, the main thing…Jesus, being like Him and sharing Him with others.

This allows for a lot of personal freedom and differences in our fellowship life together. We are not seeking to conform people to becoming certain types of Christians, but to be Christ-like in the way He made us. This means our Church does and will have a lot of diversity along many lines.

This is challenging for many who want everything to be black and white, good and bad and for someone to tell them what to think, instead of teaching them how to think. There is a type of freedom in strict fundamentalism, but it isn’t the healthy, spiritual, Jesus-embodied, sin-liberating freedom of the New Testament.

We understand that the type of discipleship modeled by Jesus isn’t considered ‘wise’ by many in church and leadership circles today:

-He had a questionable reputation surrounding his mother’s pregnancy story. (Matt 1:18)

-He was raised across the tracks in a working poor family. (John 1:46)

-He had a wild, hippy cousin who lived off grid, made his own clothes and followed a strange bro-science diet. (John 3:1-6)

-His first sermon didn’t go over well in his home church and ended with the congregation trying to throw him off a cliff. (Luke 4:28-30)

-His first miracle was to provide barrels of the best wine ever made at a wedding that had already run out (120–180 gallons: roughly 500–900 bottles). (John 2:1-1)

-He picked a motley crew of disciples from all kinds of questionable margins: cussing sailors, tax swindlers, hot headed political types who were part of a radical political group dedicated to overthrowing Roman rule in Judea. (Matt. 10:2-4)

-He attracted a lot of women who started following him everywhere and giving him lots of money. (Matthew 27:55-56)

-He would meet with questionable women alone (John 4:1–42)

-He put a thief in charge of the group finances even though he knew he was stealing money from them. (John 12:4–6)

-His first disciple to be sent to announce his resurrection was a woman who had been possessed by seven devils. (Mark 16:9-11)

This puts a different light on the whole “you should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.” mantra doesn’t it? (1 Corinthians 11:1)

I share all of this because there’s so much pressure and expectation today to conform and perform in churches, for people and pastors. The standards assumed by many are often completely foreign to who Jesus was and how he modeled life.

People are flocking to more consolidated rule, power and control or fleeing to the far edges of lawlessness in religious and political spheres. The sacred and secular paternalism is infecting people minds and hearts, offering complete assurance of “peace and safety” (1 Thessalonians 5:3) but it’s actually leading them to destruction.

“I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to himself through the loving mercy of Christ. You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who deliberately twist the truth concerning Christ. Let God’s curse fall on anyone, including us or even an angel from heaven, who preaches a different kind of Good News than the one we preached to you. I say again what we have said before: If anyone preaches any other Good News than the one you welcomed, let that person be cursed. Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” -Galatians 1:6-10

This is the gospel that has radically transformed our lives and we considered safeguarding it to be profoundly important in these last days. Don’t settle for or support anything less than the gospel of…Jesus.

Jesus Saves.

Jesus is Lord.

Jesus is King.

(art: Christ Displaying His Wounds (c. 1630) by Giovanni Antonio Galli)

1. Mary Magdalene was a woman delivered and saved by Jesus (Luke 8:1-2)

The Gospels are the Good News of a New Creation. In this new creation, there was a garden that centered on the tree of life. There was a garden with no Angels barring the way in but Angels proclaiming an open grave. This garden wasn’t where a story of sin arose, but the place where a Savior arose. Here in this garden another woman met God, a faithful and obedient woman.

Oddly enough, in this new creation story, the men are the ones with the bad testimony of betrayal, denial, abandonment, hiding and unbelief. But the women of the Passion story are faithful, generous, brave, humble, present and quick to believe and obey. They are Eve restored.

Mary Magdalene is almost always mentioned first in any list of women. Mary was the first to encounter the Risen Christ and the first one sent to proclaim the good news to the Apostles.

A woman, one known to be possessed by devils, becomes the first of many witnesses and a sent one, in a culture that hardly took women’s testimonies seriously. Evidence by the Apostle’s responses, according to Luke:

“It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and several other women who told the apostles what had happened. But the story sounded like nonsense to the men, so they didn’t believe it.” (Lk 24:10-11)

2. Mary was a disciple of Jesus

Luke 8:3 “Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s business manager; Susanna; and many others who were contributing from their own resources to support Jesus and his disciples.”

Mark 15:40-41 “Some women were watching from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joseph, and Salome. In Galilee these women had followed him and cared for his needs. Many other women who had come up with him to Jerusalem were also there.”

Like Mary of Bethany, Mary Magdalene had chosen the better part and sat at the feel of Jesus to learn (Luke 10:38-42) and followed Him in active, generous and faithful service. These women were disciples and the apostolic mission they were all serving, thrived because they were part of the mission.

3. Mary was a witness of the Crucifixion of Jesus

John 19:25-27 “Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple he loved, he said to her, “Dear woman, here is your son.” And he said to this disciple, “Here is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.”

Mary was close enough to Jesus at the cross to hear the conversation He had with John about His mother Mary. She stood with Jesus in his most desperate moments. She was with him, regardless of the threat of the Roman soldiers, the hate of the onlooking religious and criminal mockers. She was a friend that stuck closer than a brother.

4. Mary was visited by Angels at the empty tomb

Luke 24:1-11 “On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ ” Then they remembered his words. When they came back from the tomb, they told all these things to the Eleven and to all the others. It was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the others with them who told this to the apostles. But they did not believe the women, because their words seemed to them like nonsense.”

These women witnesses were visited by Heaven’s emissaries, entrusted with the greatest story ever told. Not commissioned by men or councils, but Angels.

5. Mary was the first person to meet the Resurrected Jesus

“Dear woman, why are you crying?” the angels asked her. “Because they have taken away my Lord,” she replied, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus, but she didn’t recognize him. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” Jesus asked her. “Who are you looking for?” She thought he was the gardener. “Sir,” she said, “if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him.” “Mary!” Jesus said. She turned to him and cried out, “Rabboni!” (which is Hebrew for “Teacher”). -John 20:13-16

A personal encounter with the Risen Lord is a profoundly meaningful honor, that few had individually, and the first was a woman disciple. That fact is profoundly meaningful.

6. Mary was the First person after the resurrection to proclaim the Good News

Mark 16:9-10 “When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping.”

John 20:18 “Mary Magdalene found the disciples and told them, “I have seen the Lord!”

Apostle to the Apostles

1. Hippolytus of Rome (c. 170–235 AD)

Hippolytus is widely considered the first to use this imagery in his commentary on the Song of Songs. (St. Hippolytus of Rome was the most important 3rd century Theologian in the Christian Church, in his time. He was a disciple of Irenaeus of Lyons who was a disciple of Polycarp of Smyrna, who himself was a direct disciple of the Apostle John. )

“Lest the female apostles doubt the angels, Christ himself came to them, so that the women would be apostles of Christ and by their obedience rectify the sin of the ancient Eve... Christ appeared to the apostles and said to them: ‘It is I who appeared to these women and I who wanted to send them to you as apostles.’” — Commentary on the Song of Songs,

2. Augustine ( 354–430 AD): (a foundational theologian, philosopher, and Bishop of Hippo in North Africa, whose writings shaped Western Christianity and medieval thought.)

“The Holy Spirit acted so that those who were to be his apostles should have the testimony of the apostle of the apostles.” — Sermon 232,

3. Thoma Aquinas (13th Century), (Considered one of the most influential thinkers in the history of Catholic theology and Western philosophy.)

“And so [Christ] gave her the dignity of being the apostle to the apostles, so that she was called such, because she announced the Lord’s resurrection to the apostles”

7. Mary was faithful even when the Apostles wouldn’t believe

Mark 16:11 “...When they heard that Jesus was alive and that she had seen him, they did not believe it.”

Mark‬ ‭16‬:‭14‬ ‭“Still later he appeared to the eleven disciples as they were eating together. He rebuked them for their stubborn unbelief because they refused to believe those who had seen him after he had been raised from the dead.”

If Mary was present with us she would say:

Mary’s Invitation

Come all who are tormented, powerless and lost

Come all who think your past or present disqualify you

Come dirty, broken or confused

Come join ‘the women’, the named and unnamed

Come follow Jesus no matter where it leads

Come willing and surrendered, hold nothing back

Come to serve the Lord, lay all you own at his feet

Come to be sent, to whoever or wherever He directs

Come with courage, whether people believe or don’t

Come to the Lord

Come with your demons

Come to the Cross

Come to the Empty Tomb

Come to the Upper Room

Take your place as one who can say:

“I have seen the Lord!

“...I wish everyone was single, just as I am.“ -the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:7

Single people in the modern church are often given a vision of being single as enduring purgatory until they can get to the heavenly state of marriage. We forget or are not reminded enough that Jesus was single and so were many of those who followed him in the centuries to come. How did we lose the glory of godliness experienced in a life devoted to the Lord body, soul and spirit?https://www.buzzsprout.com/1407151/episodes/18942604

“There was a man living in Babylon whose name was Joakim. He married the daughter of Hilkiah, named Susanna, a very beautiful woman and one who feared the Lord. Her parents were righteous and had trained their daughter according to the law of Moses.” -Daniel 13:1-3

This additional chapter is found in the Septuagint (the Greek Old Testament writings). These 7 books are called the Deuterocanonical books in the Catholic-Orthodox canon and are considered by them to be inspired and in the Protestant canon they are designated as the Apocrypha, and most Protestants don’t consider them inspired. The Protestant reformer Martin Luther published the Bible in the German language and put the Apocrypha at the back with this designation: “These books are not held equal to the Holy Scriptures, but are useful and good to read.”. It is from that premise that I want to pull some important truth from the story.

Beauty and Virtue characterized Susanna’s life and it was her godliness and goodness that set her apart and also marked her by evil. The heart of this story revolves around lust and the way it can lead to death.

“That year two elders from the people were appointed as judges. Concerning them the Lord had said: “Wickedness came forth from Babylon, from elders who were judges, who were supposed to govern the people.” These men were frequently at Joakim’s house, and all who had a case to be tried came to them there. When the people left at noon, Susanna would go into her husband’s garden to walk. Every day the two elders used to see her, going in and walking about, and they began to lust for her.” -13:5-8

There’s a painting of Susanna as a Lamb and the two Elders as Wolves in The Catacombs of Praetextatus, an early Christian burial complex along the Via Appia in Rome, dating from the late 2nd to 4th centuries AD.

The story of Susanna was a popular one in the time of Jesus and its story line is a perfect example of the truth Jesus taught about lust and adultery:

“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.” -Matthew 5:27-30

The author of the Susanna story captures the way sin begins to deaden our spiritual sensitivities to the voice of conscience, the voice of the Spirit and turns us away from the God ordained duties and responsibilities He has called us to attend to in our lives.

“They suppressed their consciences and turned away their eyes from looking to heaven or remembering their duty to administer justice. Both were overwhelmed with passion for her, but they did not tell each other of their distress, for they were ashamed to disclose their lustful desire to have intercourse with her. Day after day they watched eagerly to see her.” -Daniel 13:9-12

These words describe the chains that bind so many souls to the addictive habits and internal cycles of silence and shame that give lust, pornography and sexual activity outside of marriage its merciless hold.

“One day they said to each other, “Let us go home, for it is time for lunch.” So they both left and parted from each other. But turning back, they met again, and when each pressed the other for the reason, they confessed their lust. Then together they arranged for a time when they could find her alone.” -Daniel 13:13-14

From the beginning in the garden of Eden, once we bite, we share. This malicious math has defiled and devastated hands, hearts and homes. Sin always spreads, it cannot be contained, it’s viral, communal and intergenerational, we pass down virtue and vice.

The Apostle James shows us the progression of disordered desire: ^“Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” -James 1:15

“Once, while they were watching for an opportune day, she went in as before with only two maids and wished to bathe in the garden, for it was a hot day. No one was there except the two elders, who had hidden themselves and were watching her. She said to her maids, “Bring me olive oil and ointments, and shut the garden doors so that I can bathe.” They did as she told them: they shut the doors of the garden and went out by the side doors to bring what they had been commanded; they did not see the elders because they were hiding. When the maids had gone out, the two elders got up and ran to her. They said, “Look, the garden doors are shut, and no one can see us. We are burning with desire for you, so give your consent, and lie with us. If you refuse, we will testify against you that a young man was with you, and this was why you sent your maids away.” -Daniel 13:15-21

In this despicable and vile moment we see that the upbringing of Susanna and her cultivated character had equipped her to be able to make a decisive decision based on her faith and trust in God alone.

“Susanna groaned and said, “I am completely trapped. For if I do this, it will mean death for me; if I do not, I cannot escape your hands. I choose not to do it; I will fall into your hands rather than sin in the sight of the Lord.”

Then Susanna cried out with a loud voice, and the two elders shouted against her. And one of them ran and opened the garden doors. When the people in the house heard the shouting in the garden, they rushed in at the side door to see what had happened to her. And when the elders told their story, the servants felt very much ashamed, for nothing like this had ever been said about Susanna.

The next day, when the people gathered at the house of her husband Joakim, the two elders came, full of their wicked plot to have Susanna put to death. In the presence of the people they said, “Send for Susanna daughter of Hilkiah, the wife of Joakim.” So they sent for her. And she came with her parents, her children, and all her relatives.” -Daniel 13:22-30

“Now Susanna was a woman of great refinement and beautiful in appearance. As she was veiled, the scoundrels ordered her to be unveiled, so that they might feast their eyes on her beauty. Those who were with her and all who saw her were weeping. Then the two elders stood up before the people and laid their hands on her head. Through her tears she looked up toward heaven, for her heart trusted in the Lord. The elders said, “While we were walking in the garden alone, this woman came in with two maids, shut the garden doors, and dismissed the maids. Then a young man who was hiding there came to her and was intimate with her. We were in a corner of the garden, and when we saw this wickedness we ran to them. Although we saw him have intercourse with her, we could not hold the man because he was stronger than we, and he opened the doors and got away. We did, however, seize this woman and asked who the young man was, but she would not tell us. These things we testify.” Because they were elders of the people and judges, the assembly believed them and condemned her to death.” -Daniel 13:31-41

Our hearts should break for all those who have been victimized by those who have used their positions of power to oppress women and men in homes, churches, schools and businesses. In every community we must pray and prepare young men to be a Daniel for a Susanna.

“Then Susanna cried out with a loud voice and said, “O eternal God, you know what is secret and are aware of all things before they come to be; you know that these men have given false evidence against me. And now I am to die, though I have done none of the wicked things that they have charged against me!”

“The Lord heard her cry. Just as she was being led off to execution, God stirred up the holy spirit of a young man named Daniel, and he shouted with a loud voice, “I want no part in shedding this woman’s blood!”

All the people turned to him and asked, “What is this you are saying?” Taking his stand among them he said, “Are you such fools, O Israelites, as to condemn a daughter of Israel without examination and without learning the facts? Return to court, for these men have given false evidence against her.”

So all the people hurried back. And the rest of the elders said to him, “Come, sit among us and inform us, for God has given you the standing of an elder.” Daniel said to them, “Separate them far from each other, and I will examine them.”

When they were separated from each other, he summoned one of them and said to him, “You old relic of wicked days, your sins have now come home, which you have committed in the past, pronouncing unjust judgments, condemning the innocent and acquitting the guilty, though the Lord said, ‘You shall not put an innocent and righteous person to death.’ Now then, if you really saw this woman, tell me this: Under what tree did you see them being intimate with each other?” He answered, “Under a mastic tree.” And Daniel said, “Very well! This lie has cost you your head, for the angel of God has received the sentence from God and will immediately cut you in two.”

Then, putting him to one side, he ordered them to bring the other. And he said to him, “You offspring of Canaan and not of Judah, beauty has beguiled you and lust has perverted your heart. This is how you have been treating the daughters of Israel, and they were intimate with you through fear, but a daughter of Judah would not tolerate your wickedness. Now then, tell me: Under what tree did you catch them being intimate with each other?” He answered, “Under an evergreen oak.” Daniel said to him, “Very well! This lie has cost you also your head, for the angel of God is waiting with his sword to split you in two, so as to destroy you both.”

Then the whole assembly raised a great shout and blessed God, who saves those who hope in him. And they took action against the two elders because out of their own mouths Daniel had convicted them of bearing false witness; they did to them as they had wickedly planned to do to their neighbor. Acting in accordance with the law of Moses, they put them to death. Thus innocent blood was spared that day.

Hilkiah and his wife praised God for their daughter Susanna, and so did her husband Joakim and all her relatives, because she was found innocent of a shameful deed. And from that day onward Daniel had a great reputation among the people.’ -Daniel 13:42-64

Not every Susanna is rescued by a Daniel and not every prayer is answered in the way that this story unfolds. But we can do what we can to equip, empower and stand with young women and men who can break these personal and generational cycles of abuse and addiction. Be a Daniel, be a Susanna, and let’s work for safe and sanctified communities.

Don’t turn into creeper who has been warped, perverted and poisoned by lust,

it will always lead to death.

Sometimes a wild moment,

drops by to talk awhile,

the terms of our engagement,

are only what it ever pleases.

My words fall on unwilling ears,

It’s stare an invitation,

to let go of modern conventions,

It enjoys the unruly consternation.

Her feet run ever freely,

over concerns and my commands,

I’m powerless to control it,

a fierce will above my demands.

It sleeps where it desires,

devours what it pleases,

laughing at my dominion,

trespasses all my rules, prayers or decrees.

Nature won’t be persuaded,

to fit within my plans,

its power is not submissive,

to my fears or feeble hands.

I’m left to pray and wonder,

at the footprints it leaves behind,

She’s the lord of this forest,

no matter what is in my mind.

I think one of the most joyful gifts Grandparenting has brought into my life is: being the recipient of art again.

One of the most difficult realizations is: how it slowly fades away as the child ages.

The hardest is that: you’re old enough to grasp how beautiful and sad this all is.

Life rushes by when you’re a parent, each new stage brings exciting discoveries, fun connections and growing conversations and all kinds of different happenings that demand attention but not too much reflection.

When you’re a grandparent, reflecting and remembering begins to take over much of your mind and heart. A great sensitivity comes upon you and you feel everything in greater proportions because you know what actually matters in life. Small things become great things, so you learn to savor everything so much more.

Having someone that wants to draw for you is a very special gift, if you’re blessed in such a way, treasure it as long as you can.

The Long Defeat

“Then Jesus made a circuit of all the towns and villages. He taught in their meeting places, reported kingdom news, and healed their diseased bodies, healed their bruised and hurt lives. When he looked out over the crowds, his heart broke. So confused and aimless they were, like sheep with no shepherd. “What a huge harvest!” he said to his disciples. “How few workers! On your knees and pray for harvest hands!”” -‭‭Matthew‬ ‭9‬:‭35‬-‭38‬‬

He stood there in the chapel weeping, trying to do so without fully giving into the emotional blackhole that was sucking him in. Wiping his eyes, head bowed, he shared that he was scared of leaving the men’s shelter. He was afraid to go to live in the new apartment he had available because he knew the world he was returning to and Devils were at the door.

He sat across from me cutting into his McDonald’s pancakes with difficulty using those flimsy plastic knives and forks. As he ate, he was also piling up his own stack of sins and sufferings. Each confession felt heavier and heavier until I almost couldn’t see him. He was buried. Sexually abused as a young man, addicted to porn and meth, disabled within and without and HIV positive.

Her voice on the phone was warm, gentle and sweet, but her story was devastating. She had called to testify of Jesus rescuing her from the hell of being raped as a 6 year old girl by a relative. She spoke of blood, of her abusers’ confession, but no consequence. As a young girl she had sat in my church years ago…suffering in silence.

These stories are tales of horror.

I often think of what Gladriel said in The Fellowship of the Rings: “Together through ages of the world we have fought the long defeat.”

This short idea encapsulates what has been termed ‘Northern Theory of Courage’ that arises out of the Nordic Sagas and their mythology. It’s a worldview of fighting for what is right or on the right side, even if you are doomed to catastrophe.

Tolkien wrote:

“I am a Christian, and indeed a Roman Catholic, so that I do not expect ‘history’ to be anything but a long defeat—though it contains (and in a legend may contain more clearly and movingly) some samples or glimpses of final victory.” -The Letters of J. R. R. Tolkien, Letter: #195, 1956 to Amy Ronald.

Jesus has made his way into the middle of all three of these stories. The Shepherd sets a table to feast at in the presence of the enemies that threaten destruction. He offers the cup and the bread to those who may or may not make it out of this war alive. Life eternal is a promise, winning all our battles isn’t.

I considered carrying these people’s hellish stories part of sharing in the sufferings of Christ. Carrying his cross means being broken by the weight of sin and evil and the consequences it brings in people’s lives. It’s a small sip of a cup that only Jesus could drink to the dregs, but it is a suffering that reaching and loving others demands.

The Gospel stories tell us that hope found its way to Hades and came back from the dead, so hope grows in horror, maybe especially here. You cannot follow Jesus and not touch the fringes of the shadow of death, for here is where resurrection happens.